me before work: i hate work i would honestly rather die than set foot in that building even just the idea of working makes my stomach churn FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism
me at work: honestly? this isn’t bad! i’m just doing my thing! making some money! it’s not like i would be doing anything constructive at home anyway! i love working!
me after work:
that was the worst day of my whole entire life i wish i was dead FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism
me: I understand. You found paradise in America. You had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. So you didn't need a friend like me. Now you come and say "Don Corleone, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather." You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder - for money.
john lennon syndrome is when a dumbass thinks they’re concerned about peace and social issues and believe they are in touch with nature when in reality they just say the n word, smoke weed, throw a bunch of hindu and buddhist imagery together and call it “inner peace,” and don’t shower. you probably know a lot of these people
This was posted 8 years ago. It has 143,338 notes.
1. Contrary to popular belief, waking up early isn’t going to drastically alter your life or effect how you’re feeling. So sleep till noon and relish in the way laying in bed all day makes you feel a little more human.
2. Drinking your coffee ‘black’ doesn’t make you cooler or more sophisticated than the rest of us who load in milk and sugar.
3. Being unimpressed by everything makes you look like a twat. Get excited, be overly passionate about something. Enthusiasm is fun.
4. Hating yourself isn’t romantic.
5. Eat whatever you want. your friend’s a vegan? Awesome. Listen to her talk about how great she feels because of it while you tuck in to some chocolate cake. Tell her you feel just as great.
This is honestly the best poster I have found in a while supporting breast cancer awareness. I am honestly so sick of seeing, “set the tatas free” and “save the boobies”. There is no reason in hell a life threatening, life ruining disease should be sexualized. “Don’t wear a bra day,” go fuck yourselves. You’re not saving a pair of tits, you’re saving the entire package: mind, body, and soul included. Women are not just a pair of breasts.
me beginning of day: I am going to shower wash my hair exfoliate moisturise drink 2 litres of water eat lots of fruit and vegetables do the laundry and dishes read a book pet a dog help the homeless donate to cancer and finish all my work
When I'm late: these ppl gotta chill I'm exactly where I got to be at this moment. God put me here for a reason, I ain't suppose to rush the universe.
When somebody else late: u stay irresponsible. Trash the fuck why u always late? How u go to work?? Lazy filth I've. Been waiting outside for 5 mins.... WHERE THE HELL U AT???!!
